Bonding With A Newborn With Reflux – My Personal Experience

I just recently read an excellent article about bonding with your newborn on the babyzone website. They noted, “personal interaction with your newborn is the best toy ever. Show your happiness when handling your baby and smile at her. Look deep into her eyes and watch how she stares back. Soon baby will stop crying if held and comforted.” While this is true on most cases, it was not in mine. I had a baby that cried most of the time, no matter what I did! He was what you would call a fussy baby or colicky baby.

 I like most expectant mothers look forward to the day I would coo and cuddle my baby and he would fall asleep content to be held in my arms. This however was not to be my experience. I had a baby with infant acid reflux and food allergies. I tried everything to calm my baby, but was not rewarded with a sleeping, contented baby. At first I thought I must have been doing something wrong. Then I became worried that something was wrong with him. After his diagnosis, I felt things would start to get better, at least we knew what we were dealing with.

 I was nursing and was advised to stop eating dairy, soy, egg and nut products. My son was also given Zantac. We did see some improvement in his behaviors; however, he continued to want frequent feedings and did not sleep very well. I worried over his weight gain and made frequent trips to the doctors. I became sleep-deprived, anxious and isolated. It was that feeling of isolation that was the toughest to deal with. Other moms in my mom’s groups had quiet, sleeping and contented babies and who were starting sleep for a few hours at a time. And here I was not able to console to my baby and not able to relate to there experiences. This made bonding with my baby difficult. I felt that his reflux robbed me of that newborn bonding stage.

Years down the road, in my practice, in talking with other mothers of infants with reflux or autism or other special needs, this seemed to be the case for them as well. I wish I knew these mothers when I was going through these feelings. I could have used the support, the reassurance. I now have beautiful, healthy 5 year–old boy who stills like to eat frequently and who thankfully sleeps well. I hope that I can support other mothers through similar experiences. Some suggestions to help with bonding include face-to-face contact, sucking, a soothing touch and voice, singing, swaddling as well as wearing a sling or front pack with your baby will increase the bond you and your baby feel toward each other. Sometimes you just need to take a break, walk away and take deep some breaths or reach out to others for help and this is okay too.

Comments

[stacy]

I know exactly what you mean about the bonding issues. My 6th baby is 3 months old, at 9 wks he aspirated due to reflux, he stopped breathing and turned blue! We spent a few days in hospital with aspiration pneumonia, went home and once again he had an episode, so back to hospital for a short stay again. I still am having such a hard time, I feel like I spend way too much time worried to truly bond and enjoy the infant period. I spend time propping, using saline for congestion and suctioning his nose....always jumping when he coughs or gags worried that it will be another episode. I feel like I have not been able to relax enough to bond like I did with my others ( my 5ht was a reflux baby but never had ill effects). he is on prevacid and I am on elimination diet, his congestion has improved and I pray it continues to improve more and more. Reflux seems like such a benign illness until you have one who is effected in such a way. I am now relaxing a little more and am able to begin looking at him in a different way, it sounds strange but I like to hear the cries, although I know it is because he is not comfy I just think thank God that he is here to that sweet cry and this too will pass.

[Beth]

Hi Stacy
So glad you left a comment. I did find it difficult to relax and worried a lot! I think it becomes cyclic at some point - your high degree of stress and their crying all the time. Never mind the sleep deprivation. I wish you all the best during this time and hope that you have some people close to you that can lend a hand.
Beth

[Tamil]

Hi,

I am mom of 3 month old. He is colic and has reflux. He is on Zantac from 3 weeks old. He is little better now after starting on probiotics. But the stress of when he will start crying is making me feel very scared. He is only comfortable with me and starts crying the minute someone takes him including my husband. He wants to held all the time. All my friends come and try to talk to him, but he does not respond to them. His smiles are very very rare and everyone is asking me why he is not smiling or responding. That is really bothering me a lot and I don't know how to cope up with that. Any moms out there who had baby with colic and reflux, please tell me this stage will go away and my baby will soon start smiling at everyone. I am writing this message with lots of tears in my eyes and my sweet baby sleeping on my laps.

[Shirley Grace]

And at some point, you surely thought about how unfair it is to have a fussy baby while the moms you know all had sleeping, contented babies. Mine didn't have this condition but putting her down after she's (supposedly) gone off to sleep was most of the time, a very impossible thing to do. This got me really stressed and of course, sleepless nights!

Shirley Grace
http://pregg.net

[Beth]

Hi Tamil
Yes, it can be difficult to have a baby that does not respond the way others do or the way you or others want them to. Know that you love your baby and are giving him the best care and love possible. Things will get better and when he feels better, he will start to respond more to your love and care. All babies are different and have different temperaments. Please feel free to contact me directly beth@babystayasleep.com.
Beth

[Baby Nasal Aspirator]

Hello friends,
This post is very useful and very interesting to read, Really this Post is nice information,Keep it up.Newborn Congestion

[Joseph Gagne]

Thanks Newborn Congestion for your comment! I hope that in sharing my experiences I can help others! Beth

[ventilator associated pneumonia guidelines]

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[Jeremy]

I can relate with what you are going through. It can actually be very difficult but as long as you find a good remedy, it will be easier.